When a relationship is taking a downturn, people tend to be in denial. They think everything is fine. They think things will improve.
No relationship is perfect. There will be arguments. There will be rocky patches. But when your marriage involves you and your spouse arguing constantly, then it may be time to think about divorce.
While it is good to be optimistic and work on your marriage, when all your efforts have failed, and your relationship is not making any progress, it may be time to call it quits. It is a good idea to understand the signs that your marriage is ending and how to prepare for an impending divorce.
Signs Your Marriage is Ending
Is your marriage failing? Here are some signs that the end is near:
- There is abuse. If you or your spouse is being abusive and there is no effort to end the abuse, then it is time to consider divorce. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, or financial in nature.
- There is infidelity. This is another big issue. Once a person cheats on their spouse, the trust is eroded. While it is possible to recover from such an indiscretion, it is not easy. If the cheating spouse refuses to acknowledge there is a problem or is in denial about the situation, it is hard to repair the damage and move forward.
- Your spouse has an addiction. While not all addictions lead to divorce, if your spouse refuses to acknowledge that they have a problem and refuses to get help, then it will be hard to move forward in the marriage. You cannot do all the work alone.
- There is no respect. Spouses need to respect each other. If there is negativity, name-calling, criticism, and just a general lack of concern for the other party, then it may be time to divorce. This is especially true if the spouse has been called out for their behavior in the past and refuses to make changes.
- There are constant arguments. If you cannot even share an opinion with your spouse because it turns into an argument, then why stay married? Marriage requires compromise and negotiation. When you are both stubborn with your beliefs and unwilling to budge, then the marriage is unlikely to grow as well. If you cannot work out your differences, then it is time to get out of this toxic situation and move on.
- Communication is non-existent. If you and your spouse barely talk to each, except maybe a few words here and there to confirm things, then why stay married? You should be able to share things with your partner. Communication is important in all relationships, so if you and your spouse are not talking much, what are you attracted to? Why are you staying in this marriage?
- You and your spouse lead separate lives. If you and your spouse are doing what you want and coming and going as you please, then what is the point of staying married? You should be accountable to your partner. Marriage is the joining of two lives. If you do not care what your spouse is doing and where they are at, then what is the point? You might as well be single.
- The cons outweigh the pros. Before considering divorce, it is always a good idea to look at the pros and cons. What are you getting out of the marriage? If you are finding that there are more disadvantages than benefits, then you may find that it is not beneficial to stay married. You are probably better off alone.
Planning for the End
If you have a pretty good hunch that your marriage is ending, you need to be prepared. Here are some things you can do to get ready:
- Get your finances in order. Not very organized? Now is the time to start! If you have a joint bank account, start setting up an account of your own. Update direct deposits and cancel joint credit cards. Do what you can to avoid financial hardship, as it is a common issue after a divorce, especially with women.
- Get your support system in place. Start letting friends and family know about your plans and get their support. You will need a shoulder to cry on during your divorce, so start getting your support system in place. This may include joining a support group or seeing a therapist.
- Understand your feelings. Even if you are relieved to be ending your marriage, it is still upsetting. You are leaving a long-term relationship, so there can be a sense of loss. It is OK to feel sad and bitter, but do not let the feelings overwhelm you.
- Create a new identity. If you no longer care to work on your marriage, now is the time to work on yourself. Spend time with people you enjoy being around. Try new hobbies. Engage in new interests. Take classes and join clubs. You will boost your self-esteem, feel happier about yourself, and meet new people.
- Put your child’s needs first. While you do want to focus on yourself, if you have children, they need to be your priority. While change is inevitable, do your best to help them keep the same routines as much as possible. Kids are resilient, but they still thrive on stability.
Seek Legal Help
Not everyone sees the signs that their marriage is ending. When divorce is on the horizon, proper planning is essential.
Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you prepare for divorce. We know the steps you will need to take, so let us help you through the process with ease. Schedule a consultation by calling (954) 346-6464 or filling out the online form.