Many people are miserable in their marriages. There is no more communication. Everything is a fight. You have nothing in common. You wish you had the strength to leave.
Nobody wants to be a quitter, but some people stay married because they are afraid they might regret a divorce. Are you in the same boat? Or do you really feel that your marriage is long gone and you are ready to move on?
One study showed that as many as 50% of people regretted getting divorced. But apparently it depends on who you ask. In another study, 68% of those who divorced had no regrets.
No matter which survey you consult, there is always a chance you might divorce, only to regret it down the line. Read on to find out what you might regret about divorce and what to ask yourself before you end your marriage so you do not make any mistakes. Common Regrets After Divorce
Here are some common things people regret once they get divorced:
- Financial changes. Divorces are expensive, sometimes costing tens of thousands of dollars. Plus, a divorce turns one household into two, so you will need to figure out how to support yourself once the divorce is finalized. You may have to go back to work or get a second job.
- Effects on children. Kids tend to be resilient, but for many, divorce is something that affects them for many years or even the rest of their lives. Children have to deal with two different families and households. They may have to move and switch schools. They may lose their friends. It can take a long time for them to adjust, even when they are older.
- The grass is not always greener. You may think things will be better once you divorce. You just need a clean break so you can move on and start a new relationship. But this does not always happen. You need time to heal from a divorce. Do not be eager to start a new relationship right away if you have not resolved the issues that led to your divorce.
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The saying is true. Time away from your spouse can make you desire them more. If you are sick of being around your husband or wife, maybe you just need some time apart. Expect to have some remorse about being away from your spouse, especially if you have been married for a long time.
- Not seeking marriage counseling. If your marriage is in trouble, counseling can help. You should consider it before seeking a divorce. If you and your spouse both agree to it, you need to take it seriously. While a therapist can give you pointers and advice on how to fix your marital troubles, you have to put in the effort.
- Not talking about their feelings. Some people feel the need to bottle up their emotions. If you are having issues with your partner or marriage in general, it is a good idea to talk about them. Do not try to fix them on your own; it just makes matters worse.
Questions to Ask Yourself
A divorce is a huge deal. Before you call a lawyer and commit to one, think it through thoroughly. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Is there abuse or hurtful behavior? If your spouse is physically or emotionally abusing you, then staying in the marriage is not a good idea. You deserve a loving relationship with a person who treats you with respect. This is one situation in which leaving a marriage is likely the best option, as long as you can do so safely. You should not regret divorcing someone who does not want to have a loving relationship with you.
- Should you give your marriage another chance? Think about the problems in your marriage. Can they be fixed? Is there anything that can bring you and your spouse closer together or is your marriage too far gone?
- Do you have the energy to keep trying? Keeping a marriage together takes a lot of work. Is it worth it? Do you want to keep putting in the effort or do you need a break? You may want to try a trial separation for now.
- Do you both want to work things out? For a marriage to work, both partners need to put in the effort. It will not work if one person is doing everything. If your spouse says they want to keep trying, you need to determine if they are going to keep their promise.
- How do you contribute to marital issues? While you might feel as though your spouse is the one causing all the marital strife, you need to take a good long look at yourself. It takes two to ruin a marriage, so be honest with yourself. What can you do to change things? How can you improve the state of your marriage? How can you better communicate without arguing? What can you do to make your spouse happier? Instead of blaming your spouse for everything, think about how you could improve.
Seek Legal Help
Divorce is a major decision, especially if you have been married for a long time. Do you really think splitting up will make things easier? Is the grass greener on the other side?
Is divorce on the table? If so, seek legal help from Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler. We can assess your situation and help you understand your options. Schedule a consultation by calling (954) 346-6464 or filling out the online form.