There is no doubt that divorce takes its toll on everyone involved, from the spouses to the children to even the extended families. Life after divorce is difficult for both spouses, but who has it worse?
Many articles will tell you that women have it worse due to financial issues involved. Overall, however, men have a more difficult time moving on after divorce. But why? They seem to do OK financially and many get remarried quickly, so what is the problem? Here are some reasons why divorce is harder for men.
Less Emotional Support
After a divorce, women are more likely to be proactive and seek out emotional support. They may seek out therapy or attend divorce support groups. They may seek solace from friends and family members.
There is no stigma when it comes to women seeking help for emotional issues. In fact, it is often encouraged. On top of that, women are usually more social by nature. They do not want to sit at home alone and feel sorry for themselves. They want to have a good time with friends and get their mind off their divorce.
Men, on the other hand, tend to skip the grieving process. They keep moving on with life as usual. This is likely because men are often raised to not show emotions. After all, “big boys don’t cry.” Showing emotions is frowned upon. Men are afraid to use their friends as a shoulder to cry on. This forces them to go through divorce alone, which does nothing to alleviate their stress.
Men deal with a lot of issues stemming from divorce. They deal with financial issues, the loss of a relationship, the loss of their identity, and much more. Because they get no support, men feel overwhelmed. The excessive stress causes health issues. Many men experience high blood pressure, which leads to heart disease and strokes. They must also deal with emotional issues such as anxiety and depression.
On top of that, divorced men are much more likely to engage in risky behavior. They also tend to self-medicate, which often leads to substance abuse. Many even commit suicide due to the stress involved.
Married men are more likely to take care of their health. This is because when married men have medical and emotional issues, they tend to seek out advice from their wives. Once they are divorced, they no longer have this line of support. This leads to significant health issues.
Child Custody Issues
When a family splits up, the courts look at the best interests of the children. While joint custody is becoming more and more common, the reality is that women get custody most of the time. The dad is often relegated to weekend duty.
Because of this, men do not get to see their children every day—or maybe not even every week. This can cause men to suffer self-esteem issues. They may not think they are a good father. They may fear they are missing out on their kids’ milestones. They may even think their mother may be saying negative things about them.
Many men stress about raising children after divorce, and for good reason. Many single mothers feel as though their children’s fathers are not playing huge roles in their lives. Because of this, divorced fathers need to make an effort to stay involved in their children’s lives.
Loss of Identity
Going from being married to becoming single is a huge change for anybody. Almost everyone loses their identity to some degree, but men seem to feel it even more. That is because they tend to associate themselves with their marriage. Even when a man has a college education and a successful career, they tend to think of their marriage as the only thing that identifies them as a person.
So when men go through a divorce, they often see themselves as no longer part of a partnership. This is a huge difference between the genders, as women are more likely to join groups during marriage and after divorce. Men, on the other hand, do not usually get involved in new activities after a marriage dissolution. Doing so could be a huge boost to their self-esteem, though.
Rushing Into New Relationships
Men are more likely than women to rush into new relationships. This is tied to the reason above, since many men identify themselves through their relationships. They think a relationship can help them suppress their negative feelings. They may be lonely and want to experience marriage again.
However, rushing into a new relationship is not a good idea. After a failed marriage, it is a good idea to assess what went wrong and try to avoid the same mistakes in the future. When a person fails to do so, they set themselves up for problematic relationships.
Women tend to take their time getting into new relationships. They are also less likely to remarry because they fear getting into another relationship that will not last.
Seek Legal Help
Divorce is hard for everyone involved, but men do not always get the support that women get. Because of this, they are more likely to suffer from physical and emotional effects.
Those who divorce need to ensure they have post-divorce resources available to help them move on. Seek legal help from Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler. We will give you the advice you need to end your marriage with the least amount of stress possible. To schedule a consultation, call (954) 346-6464 or fill out the online form.