When we get married, it is a happy event. Our lives are full of hope and joy as we think about the future. We are excited to start a new life with our new partner. We expect to spend many years of happiness with our spouse.
But after the honeymoon ends, it is time for reality. People tend to grow apart over time, and you may soon discover that you do not really have a connection with your spouse. Women especially crave an emotional connection with their partners, and it can be disappointing when they do not meet their needs. Most people in marriages want to grow in love and experience continual physical intimacy.
A lack of an emotional connection with your spouse saps out all the trust, happiness, and comfort in your marriage. When this goes on for too long, it will start to feel like you are living as roommates instead of lovers.
When your spouse does not put in the effort to build a connection with you, you may feel frustrated. You may feel alone in your marriage. In extreme cases, you may even feel like divorce is the only answer.
Feeling no emotional connection with your husband or wife is a dire situation that needs immediate attention. Are you two drifting apart? Do not ignore the signs. Read on to learn more about the signs of no emotional connection and how you can remedy the situation without ending the marriage.
Signs That Your Marriage is Lacking Emotional Connection
Is your marriage suffering? Here are some signs that you no longer have a connection with each other:
- You no longer seek out each other for advice. Spouses typically seek advice from each other when they are dealing with life issues. If you no longer ask your spouse about their thoughts, then it could be because you two are lacking an emotional connection. Your spouse should be the first one you discuss issues with. If you turn to a friend or other family member instead, then your marriage is lacking emotional security.
- You stop sharing your life. If you are not telling your spouse anything about your life at all, then you have a major problem. You should be sharing details of your life, such as your work, children, family, friends, and hobbies. If you are not, then something is wrong. You both need to change your attitude and work on the marriage.
- You no longer have sex. A lack of physical intimacy is a huge red flag. Sex is important for a healthy marriage. When you and your spouse no longer want to have sex with each other, it can be hard to have an emotional connection. It is even worse when you withhold sex as a form of punishment.
- You are exceptionally critical. If you feel as though you are constantly criticizing your spouse, it is likely because you feel hurt, and you want them to feel hurt as well. You may call them names or constantly nag at them to do something. You may get angry over the smallest things. This is dangerous behavior and will cause your spouse to withdraw even further from you.
Rebuilding an Emotional Connection
A lack of an emotional connection can cause loneliness, depression, neglect, and even more distance. It can lead to insecurity and even infidelity.
You may feel hopeless about your situation, but you can still make your marriage work. However, you need to rebuild an emotional connection before it is too late. Here are some tips to help:
- Communicate. A problem will not get better if you ignore it. Be proactive and start a conversation. Be honest with your spouse and tell them how you are feeling. Let them know that you are struggling with feeling close to them. This may help start a productive discussion where you both talk about your marital issues and work on solutions.
- Do not blame your spouse. Playing the blame game does not help matters. Do not tell your spouse your marriage problems are all their fault. This will only cause your spouse to be defensive. Instead, express your desire to feel a connection again.
- Go on dates. Pretend like your relationship is brand new again. Schedule date nights with your spouse to rekindle your love. These date nights are essential for a happy marriage, especially if children are involved. Make sure to do something you both enjoy, whether it is going out to dinner, having drinks, taking up a hobby together, or just going for a walk together.
- Have sex. This can be hard when you lack an emotional connection, but having sex will be beneficial for both of you. Sex results in the release of oxytocin for women and dopamine for men. These drugs not only make you feel good but increase trust, bonding, and empathy. Overall, sex is a great way to bond with each other, so schedule it regularly. It should be an enjoyable experience for you both.
Seek Legal Help
Both parties have to work on their marriage. When one person is doing all the work, it leads to resentment, frustration, and a lack of an emotional connection.
If you cannot form a connection with your spouse, it may be time to end things. Seek legal help from Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler. We are dedicated 100% to divorce and family law issues, so we know what works. Schedule a consultation with our office by filling out the online form or calling (954) 346-6464.