When is it the Right Time to Divorce?

When is it the Right Time to Divorce?

Deciding to end a marriage is not something that should be taken lightly. Deciding to divorce is one of the hardest things a person can do. Divorces are difficult for all involved and the effects often last for many years. 

So, if you are not happy with your marriage and have not been for a long time, you may wonder: when is enough, enough? When is it the time to divorce? 

It can be hard to reach your breaking point when you can say with absolute certainty: “I want a divorce.” Coming to this conclusion can take a long time. There may be times of denial along the way. You may feel angry and bitter one minute, and feelings of calmness and hope the next minute. 

Your feelings about marriage and divorce can be confusing, and for good reason. Many people regret getting a divorce, so obviously, you want to avoid that costly mistake. If you are ever confused about whether or not a divorce is the best option, then counseling may be the first step you take. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and help you determine the best course of action.

It may not be clear to you that your marriage has run its course and is no longer satisfying to you. Don’t know when it’ i the right time to divorce? Here are some signs.

There is Physical Abuse

Love does not mean hurting someone. If your spouse is physically abusive to you or your children, then it is time to move on — no ifs, ands, or buts. Your spouse may have grown up with this type of behavior, but that is not a valid excuse. Pushing, hitting, slapping, kicking, or throwing things at a person is considered domestic violence and is against the law.

You should not tolerate this behavior at all. There have been cases where physical abuse has turned deadly, so choose to no longer be a victim. Get out of the marriage as soon as you can. Stay with family or friends. Look into local resources available to you. Your lawyer can help.

Your Spouse Engages in Risky Behavior

Even if your spouse does not hit you, he or she may still engage in behaviors that can put you and your children at risk. For example, alcohol and drug addiction is not only a waste of money but it can also cause your spouse to behave in odd ways and be unable to hold down a job or take any responsibility at all. Gambling is another waste of money that comes with financial consequences. If your spouse is in a gang, the members may try to come after you and harm you. In these situations, you need to focus on the safety of you and your children and this may mean leaving the marriage.

Your Partner Cheats on You

Even if your spouse cheats on you one time, the infidelity will likely become a pattern. As the saying goes, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Even if your spouse is remorseful and vows to change their ways, moving on from infidelity is difficult. There are likely trust issues involved. Counseling may be helpful, but ultimately, most cheating incidents lead to divorce. If your spouse cannot quit cheating, there is some underlying issue involved and staying in the marriage likely will not fix it.

Your Partner Lies to You

Lying is another issue that can lead to distrust. Marriages are built on love and trust and when you cannot trust your spouse because they constantly tell you untrue things, the marriage starts to unravel. You may start to discover more and more lies. It snowballs from there and soon you realize that your whole relationship was built on lies. Lying and hiding information causes a lot of damage to a relationship and repairing the damage can be extremely difficult. 

You and Your Partner Have Different Goals

Ideally, you and your spouse will have your futures mapped out with common goals. Where do you want to live? Do you want children? What does your life look like in five or 10 years? While there can be some differences, not all can survive a marriage. If you and your spouse are on totally different wavelengths, then your marriage is going to suffer due to the divergent paths you want to follow. 

One of the biggest marriage killers is when one person wants kids and the other does not. Sometimes people change their minds as they get older, so it is not uncommon for one person to decide in a few years that they really do (or do not) want kids. Having children is a huge decision, so it is hard for the parties to have to compromise on this matter. It can lead to lifelong bitterness or resentment for the person who is forced to cave in, and these negative feelings ruin a marriage for good.

Seek Legal Help

Getting a divorce is not the easy way out. There is nothing easy about ending a marriage, especially when there are children or significant assets involved. Because of this, it can be hard to find the right time to pull the plug and file for divorce. 

When is the right time to divorce? Maybe it is now. Discuss your situation with Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler. We offer compassion and solid advice as you navigate your divorce. Call (954) 398-5712 or fill out the online form to schedule a consultation with our office.