What is the Top Conflict in a Marriage

What is the Top Conflict in a Marriage?

Marriage is complicated. A married couple can face various issues and they may not agree on everything. Sometimes they can work through these issues. However, it is not uncommon for disagreements to put a strain on a marriage.

When couples cannot resolve their issues, they may file for divorce. In the past, money issues were the most common conflicts among married couples in the United States. Is this still the case?

Nowadays, career choices and parenting differences are common. These two issues top the list for conflicts in marriages. Career choices accounted for 46% of conflicts, with parenting differences coming in a close second, at 43%. According to a Forbes Advisor survey, other common issues were division of household labor, relationships with family and friends, finances, and health choices.

How a Career Can Affect a Marriage

It may seem unfair, but those who are married tend to work more than those who are single. This is likely because a married person is not simply working for themselves – they are trying to earn money for their spouse and children as well. This means married people are more likely to work longer hours and in multiple jobs.

Add in a commute and it may seem as though married couples do not spend a lot of time together. Couples have less time to talk and this often translates to more conflicts. This means that communication needs to be a priority. Even though you may be working most of the day, you still need to carve out time for your spouse. Yes, work pays the bills, but your relationship still needs to be #1

Also, career choices can affect finances, which can also cause conflict in a marriage. If you are working at a dead-end job with no room for promotion, this can cause stress for a spouse who has to work much harder to make up the difference so that bills are paid.

A career is a big part of your life, but you should not let one ruin your marriage. Remember, it is not “you vs. me.” Marriage is not a game or competition. Your own career success and your spouse’s success are equally important when it comes to a healthy, prioritized marriage. It can be hard, but it is best to find a balance. Try to find a lucrative career that brings you joy.

How Different Parenting Styles Can Affect a Marriage

Different parenting styles can also negatively affect a marriage. When it comes to raising children, you and your spouse need to be consistent. When one person does one thing and the other does something different, it can cause confusion in a marriage. You and your spouse end up fighting in front of the children, and this leads to anxiety and stress.

There are many factors that can affect parenting styles, including religious differences, differences in upbringing, and educational backgrounds. When one person has been abused as a child, this can also affect how they will parent their children.

Your child needs to see both parents following the same guidelines, no matter the scenario. To accomplish this, parents need to sit down and try to agree on a method of discipline at a time when they are not having a problem.

Consistency is key. When children are forced to pick and choose which parent to deal with because one is more permissive than the other, then you and your spouse are not on the same page when it comes to parenting. You need to have a united front when parenting your children. Therefore, you and your spouse need to recognize your differences and look for ways to collaborate and work together. It will be difficult, but it can be done.

How Unequal Division of Chores Can Affect a Marriage

Unequal division of household labor also causes friction in a marriage. Studies show that women who are partnered and had children with men reported having less sexual desire if they were doing a larger portion of the housework. This means if men desire intimacy, they need to shut off the TV, turn off the video games, and work a little harder around the house.

Ideally, household chores would be split 50/50 between spouses, especially when both parties work full-time. However, this rarely happens. What is usually the case is that the woman does the majority of the housework – including the cooking, cleaning, child care, shopping, running errands, and bill paying – while the man refuses to do his fair share.

Men often engage in what is called weaponized incompetence, in which they will pretend to not know how to properly do certain chores so they can get out of doing them. This puts the responsibility of household chores on the woman, who has to ensure they are all done properly.

This puts undue stress on the woman, leading to resentment. The woman feels manipulated and overworked. This leads to issues with intimacy and trust. Over time, this leads to worsened mental health for the woman as well as a higher risk of divorce.

Household chores are supposed to be shared responsibilities. Dividing up the housework is essential to ensure a happy marriage. By having a plan and focusing on priorities, a couple can work together to get the household in tip-top shape.

Seek Legal Help

Finances were once the top cause of divorce. Now, career choices and parenting differences top the list. But to be fair, career choices can be tied to finances.

Ending your marriage? Get the help you need from Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler. We have the experience you need to succeed and get a favorable outcome. Call (954) 346-6464 or fill out the online form to schedule a consultation.