What Causes a Spouse to Cheat?

What Causes a Spouse to Cheat?

Relationships can be scary. It can be hard to get comfortable with a new partner when you constantly worry about things that might happen. For example, if your boyfriend is still friendly with his ex-girlfriend, you may be concerned that he might cheat on you. But even when you are married, there is always the possibility of infidelity. 

For most people, cheating is the ultimate deal breaker, with it leading to divorce in most cases. It can hurt in various ways, especially if you feel like you have been a good partner. Why would your partner look for love elsewhere? How can you stay with someone that you cannot trust? 

For many couples, discussing the possibility of cheating and understanding what causes people to cheat can help you feel more secure about your relationship. Read on to learn more about the risk factors that can make your husband or wife look for an affair elsewhere. 

The Person is Naive

A person may start to develop feelings for someone and think they can handle it. But the truth is that most people do not know how to keep an affair from happening. Instead of being aware of the situation and breaking things off, they progress further into the relationship. They get more and more involved, causing the sexual feelings to intensify. After a while, the emotional connection turns into an affair. 

Two People Spend Too Much Time Together

Maybe you are working on a project with a cute co-worker. You have meetings daily. Then maybe you have lunch together. You spend too much time together in private and this causes you to develop feelings for each other. You find ways to spend more time together. You enjoy this new romance and this causes you to make excuses for the lack of effort in your marriage. Things get steamy with your new love and you have sexual encounters.

The Person is an Old Flame or Business Partner

You bumped into an old boyfriend at the grocery store and you cannot stop thinking about how good he looks. Or maybe you are on a business trip and you are meeting with a beautiful client. These interactions can lead to flirting, which can seem harmless at first. But then you may start having more intimate conversations with the person. You do not see the warning signs and this can lead to sexual encounters that you may later regret.

Your Relationship Has Become Distant

If your marriage is not going so well, you may be missing something in your relationship. Maybe you and your spouse do not spend time together anymore. Communication may be difficult. Perhaps the sex is nonexistent. Your marriage may become so negative that you are being driven further apart from your spouse. It may come to the point where you are looking to get your needs met elsewhere and you may find someone that you can easily connect with. Maybe you found someone who shares your interests. A faltering marriage can make cheating easier and more likely to occur. You become vulnerable, making your marriage even weaker. 

You or Your Spouse is a Narcissist

Narcissists act as if the world revolves around them. They thrive on flattery and attention, so if their spouse is not meeting their needs, then they have no problem looking for attention elsewhere. This means they are likely to give in to their cheating impulses. That is because narcissists tend to focus on their needs and what feels good to them. When they decide to cheat, they do not focus on how their spouse will feel about the situation. Narcissists worry about themselves, so if you are married to one, do not expect them to change their ways or feel any remorse for how they treat you.

Your or Your Spouse Lack Morals

Not everyone has a code of morality that they abide by. Some people truly think that the rules do not apply to them. If they decide to cheat, they will have excuses for what they did. They may claim that they could not be expected to have morals because they are not monogamous. 

Some people are more seductive than others. They do not think about how they present themselves and how this can affect their marriage. They may always dress flirtatiously to attract attention. If a person seems to be focused more on getting attention from others than working on their marriage, then it can be expected that they will give in to an affair if the opportunity presents itself. 

There is Alcohol Involved

Nothing good ever happens when alcohol is involved. Sure, you may like getting drunk at the time, but then, later on, the fun wears off. You now have a hangover and no recollection of what happened earlier. What happened between you and your co-worker? Alcohol negatively impacts judgment and creates romantic feelings, so if you’re married and feeling a certain way about a friend or co-worker, you may want to avoid alcohol. You could end up regretting your behavior.

Seek Legal Help

Cheating is a deal breaker in most relationships. It is always preferable if you can prevent it before it happens. 

Some couples can move on after infidelity, but most do not. Is it time to move on? If so, Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can guide you through the divorce process. Schedule a consultation with our office today by calling (954) 398-5712 or filling out the online form.