The Secrets of Divorce Nobody Talks About

The Secrets of Divorce Nobody Talks About

You have decided to end your marriage. You have been doing some research and you think you have it all figured out. You know the processes and know exactly what will happen once the divorce is finalized.

But do you really? When people go through a divorce, they do not always talk about what is really happening. They may hide their true feelings because they do not want to burden those around them. While you may think your friend is happy and doing fine, there is likely a lot more going on under the surface that you do not know about.

There are a lot of secrets about divorce that you likely do not know. The truth is, you will not know what to expect until you go through it yourself. While you can do extensive research about the topic, you likely will not have the same experiences. 

Divorce is an emotional situation that brings about highly sensitive topics. Here are some secrets and effects of divorce that nobody talks about—but they should.

Divorce Separates You From More Than Just Your Spouse

When you get a divorce, you are doing more than splitting up with your spouse. If you have children, you are separating yourself from them, as well. Divorce also affects friends and other family members, as it divides them. They are forced to pick sides, which means one or both parties may feel abandoned. 

The thought of divorce can make many people feel uncomfortable. This may apply to your friends and family members. Instead of supporting you, they may avoid you because they may not know how to react. They may be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. 

This can be a devastating situation for a divorcing person. You are already losing your spouse and now you are losing your friends as well. It hurts, but it is a reality that you will have to accept. 

You Will Need Time to Grieve

Even if you are the one who initiated the divorce, you will still need time to grieve. There is a lot involved in a divorce. While there are many emotions involved, you will find that a divorce is more like a death. 

That is because you are grieving the death of your marriage. When you got married, you did not plan on a divorce. Now that you are divorcing, you are losing a lot. Not just your spouse, but also money, your home, and maybe even your children and pets. There are many elements involved when you end your marriage, so you will be doing a lot of grieving. 

And not just for a few days. You will need to take some time to grieve. Do not expect to be fully over your divorce within a week. Remember, you were with this person for years. Going from married to single is a process and moving on is going to take some time.

You Need to Avoid Isolation

Contrary to what romantic dramas might show you, sitting on the couch eating ice cream and watching TV is not the way to deal with your heartbreak. While it can be helpful to spend some time alone doing things you enjoy, too much isolation can have negative mental effects. 

It is good to go out and spend time with friends and family members. You want to stay connected to your loved ones who support you and can offer a shoulder to cry on. Go have dinner with a friend. Grab coffee with a coworker. Spend some time on your front porch chatting with the neighbor. Go visit your mom or grandma. 

And you do not have to hang around solely with old friends. Go make some new ones. Take a class. Engage in a hobby. Go to the club. Start online dating (if you are ready).

It does not really matter what you do—just do not spend all your time alone at home. You want to guard against isolation. It is not like you have a disease. Start living it up.

You May Feel Regretful

Even if you initiated the divorce, you may later on feel as if you made a bad decision. You may even feel bad for your spouse. 

Feeling regretful can be painful, but it is a common part of divorce. You may feel like you are throwing away many years of your life. You may feel like a quitter. Push those thoughts away. Feel confident in your decision to divorce. You can show compassion for your spouse, but do not let them take advantage of you. You will feel better in time.

Parenting Will be Exhausting

Think you are tired of caring for your kids now? Wait until the divorce is final and you are having to co-parent your kids with your ex. You will have to deal with custody and visitation. You will have to create schedules. There will be arguments over who gets the kids on certain holidays. The kids may be unhappy about the divorce, so they will be angry at you. 

Dealing with your ex can be frustrating, but it is something you will need to manage at least until your kids turn 18. But who knows—some people actually get along better with their ex once they divorce.

Seek Legal Help

When it comes to divorce, you do not know how it feels until you have experienced it yourself. There are a lot of things you will not know about the process or the aftermath, plus every person’s experience is different. 

Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you understand what to expect after a divorce. He can guide you through post-divorce life. Schedule a consultation today by filling out the online form or calling (954) 398-5712.