If you are going through a divorce, you may have friends and family members who are trying to set you up on dates. After having your relationship end after many years, dating may be the last thing on your mind. Others, however, are scared to be alone after a divorce and are more than willing to get into a relationship with someone new.
There is no right or wrong time to start dating again. Once your divorce has been finalized, you are free to date and even marry again. However, it is not that easy for most people. Many people are coming out of marriages that have lasted decades. The dating scene has likely changed immensely since then. If you do have an interest in dating again, you probably do not even know where to start.
Dating can be scary if you have not done it in a while. Plus, you are probably feeling negative emotions from your divorce, and this is never good when you are trying to impress someone. Spending hours complaining about your ex is a good way to ruin a first date. Dating after divorce is no walk in the park. It can be complicated. Read on to discover the many challenges you will face and why you should wait.
Emotional Challenges of Dating
Just like divorce, dating involves many intense emotions. When entering the dating scene, there is the risk of rejection. Very rarely does someone go on one date and meet his or her soulmate. You will likely have to go on dozens or even hundreds of dates before you meet someone with whom you are romantically compatible. Expect to get your feelings hurt. Being rejected can make you feel like a failure, so if you are still getting over the pain of a failed marriage, then you might want to hold off on dating.
Another challenge that you will face is explaining why you got divorced. This can be tricky, as you don’t want to say that you were the reason for the divorce. On the other hand, you do not want to badmouth your ex either. The best course of action is to be honest. Tell the truth, but do not give away too many details.
You might feel pressured to date before you are ready. You may find out that your ex is already dating and you feel a twinge of jealousy. Maybe your friends are already setting you up on dates. If this happens, you need to slow down and take your time. By rushing into dating before you are truly ready, you end up hurting others unnecessarily.
Before dating, you need to understand who you are first. You can not find the right person for you if you are not even sure of the person you are. While you were married, you likely made some compromises for your spouse. Now that you are divorced, you no longer have to live by anyone else’s rules. You are your own person, so spend some time reflecting and rebuilding your life. Take up new interests and do the things that you want to do. Learn to regain your independence. By doing so, you might meet the right person for you.
How to Date After Divorce
While dating after divorce is not easy, it is doable. Here is a tip: Treat each date like a job interview. Both situations are similar in that you want to impress someone. Therefore, you need to dress to impress. This might means updating your wardrobe and style. Buy a new shirt. Get a manicure and a haircut. Change up your look and try something new that excites you. A divorce should signal the end of a marriage and the start of something new.
While you can change how you look on the outside, you can also change how you feel on the inside. Go into your dating experiences feeling positive about your future. Do not carry anger or bitterness about your ex around with you. All you will do is set yourself up for failure.
On the other hand, you do not want to assume that every date will be a success. Do not plan to meet with a person one time and then get married. While it is good to feel positive about a relationship, make sure you do not go overboard. Talking about the future after knowing someone for just an hour is not only impractical, but also a good way to scare away the other person. Have fun with dating for now and take things casually. Get the know the person well first so you do not make the same mistakes you have made in the past. There is no need to rush into another marriage – and another potential divorce.
Seek Legal Help
Even after the divorce has been finalized, the effects of divorce tend to linger for a while. Each person is different. Some are ready to move on right away, while others are exploring the dating scene again after several months. Some are still angry about their divorce and scared to move on years later.
Palm Beach divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you move on after your divorce. He understands that divorce is an emotional experience and that the process does not end with the final decree. A person can experience the effects of a broken marriage for many years. Start healing today. Schedule a consultation by calling his office at (954) 346-6464.