Close to half of first-time marriages end in divorce. If you are married, this is probably no surprise to you. Relationships are hard. Marriages are even harder because you are essentially combining two lives into one.
Many issues can happen in a marriage. Finances, poor communication, infidelity, intimacy issues, and boredom are common issues that may eventually lead to divorce.
However, keep in mind that divorce is not always the answer. Divorce is a permanent decision that comes with a lot of consequences. It affects not only you but your spouse, your children, and other loved ones. There is proof that divorce can lead to psychological and behavioral problems in children. It can also cause them to develop a fear of abandonment.
Divorce is also expensive, costing an average of $15,000. Many cases cost even more. Plus, it can lead to health problems exacerbated by stress, anxiety, and depression. Many divorce cases end up being nasty court battles that last years. While some people are happier after divorce, many regret it. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
For these reasons, divorce is something that you need to think about carefully. Do not think that divorce will solve your problems. Instead, look for ways to prevent divorce. Here are some tips that can help.
Communication seems to be lacking in a lot of marriages. Use this opportunity to talk and listen more. Spend more time with each other talking about your needs. What are you expecting from the marriage? Do not just assume your spouse knows what you want. They cannot read minds, so feel comfortable expressing yourself more. It could work wonders for your marriage.
Determine the Biggest Issues in Your Marriage
If your marriage is struggling, find out why. There is likely a reason (or two) why it is happening. Is it finances? Are you arguing over sex and intimacy? Are you two having communication problems? Then work together to find solutions.
Having money problems? Create a budget. Cut back on spending. Get another job. There are always solutions besides divorce.
Embrace Healthier Habits
Many marriages are infused with negativity. If this describes your marriage, get out of this rut and start being more loving. Quitting the nagging and temper tantrums. Stop sweating the small stuff. Not everything has to be an argument. Instead, focus on healthier habits, like compliments, kisses, greetings, and small acts of kindness. These small habits can go a long way to make your marriage stronger.
Many couples avoid counseling because they see it as a sign that they are giving up. However, it is just the opposite – it means you want to avoid divorce. Marriage counseling helps give you the tools you need to communicate better and make your marriage stronger. It helps improve physical and emotional intimacy, so you and your spouse have a stronger connection. Aim to attend marriage counseling a couple of times a year to fine-tune your marriage.
Spend More Time Together
Many marriages suffer because the spouses feel as though they don’t connect with each other anymore. They feel like they are ships passing in the night. Maybe the spouses are focused on their children or their jobs. In any case, you need to spend some time prioritizing your marriage. Do not ignore each other. Do not neglect your relationship. Instead, focus on things that will bring you closer together, like dates, activities together, and intimacy. Treat these things like necessities.
Do Whatever it Takes
When it comes to avoiding divorce, you need to leave no stone unturned. Do what it takes to make things right. This takes a lot of work, but marriage is not supposed to be easy. It requires significant effort from both parties. Prioritize your marriage and commit to working as a team. When you work against each other in a relationship, you do not get good results. If your marriage is struggling, there are books and coaches who can help you get back on track. Do not give up. Do what you can to make things right.
Take Divorce Off the Table
When couples get into heated arguments, they often throw around the word “divorce.” Divorce is not something to mess around with. It is a serious event that will affect you for a long time. When you think negatively, you are not fully committed to resolving the conflict. Therefore, take divorce off the table. Do not even mention it. Do not make it seem like it is an option. You can get out of your tough situation with a good amount of love and determination.
Remember That We’re All Human
At the end of the day, we are human, and we make mistakes. Remember this when you get frustrated with your spouse. Chances are, you are expecting too much from them, and they are not meeting your expectations. Keep reminding yourself that nobody is perfect – not even you. When you accept that, you will be more patient and understanding. You married your spouse for various reasons, so try to remember those reasons when you get upset with them.
Seek Legal Help
Divorce is not always the answer. If a couple is willing to make an effort and communicate when things are not going well, they can get through many common problems.
However, sometimes marriages are too troubled to be saved. In these cases, divorce may be the only answer. Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can guide you through the process and help you move on. Schedule a consultation with our office by calling (954) 346-6464 or filling out the online form.