So many people are unhappy in their marriages. They cannot communicate well with their spouses. There may be physical or emotional abuse. The couple could be having money problems. Maybe there is a major problem involved, such as substance abuse or infidelity.
It seems like everyone you talk to is complaining about their marriage. They may even mention divorce. But if you look hard enough, you will find a couple who is happily married and has been so for many decades. What are their secrets? How did they achieve marital bliss?
Marriage is not easy. Even in the best relationships, there will be some arguing and disagreements from time to time. However, if both parties are willing to put in the effort, it becomes a lot easier. Your marriage may even last forever. Here are some things you should know if you want to have a lasting marriage.
Respect Each Other
Your spouse may drive you nuts from time to time, but you need to have their back. You need to acknowledge their needs on top of yours. Respect makes it so you think before you speak or take any action, for that matter. When you are more intentional in how you do things, you react more appropriately. You are less likely to badmouth your spouse, yell at them, criticize them, belittle them, and say things you will regret later. Your marriage still will not be perfect if you have respect, but it will make things easier.
Young girls love fairy tales, but they soon grow up and realize that they are not princesses and a prince is not going to sweep them off their feet. Marriage is far from this. It is not even close to this, so you need to be realistic about what you expect from your spouse.
This means not believing everything you see, hear, or read. Social media has a way of embellishing things. What you see on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok from your friends and family members is not real. The highlight reel you are scrolling through online does not reflect real life, so stop with the envy. The best thing you can do for your marriage is to get off the internet and take the time to focus on making your marriage better. Each marriage is different and unique, so stop with the comparisons and invest the time and effort into your marriage.
Focus on Each Other’s Strengths
Marriage should be about lifting each other up, not belittling them and breaking them down with constant criticism. So, even when your spouse is annoying you to no end, think about why you love them. What are their strengths? What things are they good at and how can these things make your marriage better?
For example, a spouse who is good with numbers can be in charge of finances. The organized person can do the majority of the housework. When each spouse uses their strengths to contribute to the marriage, it makes the marriage work better.
Be Quick to Forgive
It may be frustrating when your spouse comes home from work and falls asleep on the couch instead of helping you with the kids. Or maybe they forgot to make that trip to the store and get you those ingredients for dinner. Whatever the issue, do not hold a grudge (unless it is a serious issue like abuse or infidelity). When you fail to forgive your spouse for various things, you keep holding onto that anger. All that does is make you feel bitterness and resentment.
Realize that people make mistakes. You do, too! Would you want your spouse to still be mad at you for things you did years ago? Of course not! Refusing to take the path of forgiveness takes a lot of time and energy. So, just let things go and move on already. Everyone will feel so much better.
Make Marriage a Priority
Many couples put their marriage on the back burner. Instead of spending time together, they spend time with friends and family members. They may work long hours and then come home and go to bed, only to repeat the same thing the next day. They are not making their marriage a priority and without sufficient effort, a divorce is a possibility.
While you may need to give yourself to others from time to time, you need to set boundaries. Your spouse should be the most important person in your life, so make your marriage a priority.
Avoid Being Dependent on Your Partner
While you should spend time with your spouse and do things with them, you need to draw the line at dependency. If you are expecting to spend all your free time with your partner, it can feel suffocating. You and your spouse should complement each other, not complete each other. You should not be relying on your spouse to fulfill you. You and your spouse do not have to have the same interests. Instead, cultivate your own interests. Have your own hobbies. Learn to seek fulfillment on your own.
Seek Legal Help
Staying happy in your marriage is no easy task. It seems as though many couples do not want to put in the time and effort to maintain their marriages. This causes the relationship to deteriorate over time.
While many couples are happily married, many are not. If you cannot save your marriage, then move on. Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you divorce with ease. To schedule a consultation, call (954) 398-5712 or fill out the online form.