If you are sick of being married, your first thought may be to go for a full-blown divorce. But you should know that divorce is not the only option. Separation may be another thing to consider.
Florida does not offer a legal separation, unlike most other states. Florida is one of just six states that does not allow for this option. However, if you are having marital issues, you can still live separately under a trial separation.
Keep in mind, though, that you will still be legally married, so it is not like you can start dating other people. But you should not anyway. You should be using a trial separation as an informal way to pause your marriage and work on your issues. Some time apart may do your marriage some good, or it may confirm that your marriage is indeed over.
Either way, a separation can help you come to a decision about your marriage. Should you stay or should you go? By separating, you can avoid making a rash decision about your relationship. You can take some time apart and see if the grass is indeed greener on the other side without any regrets.
So what if you decide you want to rekindle your marriage? It is certainly possible. Many couples separate and come back to their marriage with a renewed sense of commitment. However, both of you will need to take some time to look into the future of your marriage and see why you need each other in your lives. With that said, here are some ways to rekindle your marriage after separation.
Take Things Slow
A change of heart is not going to happen overnight. It may take months for both of you to realize that you really want to stay married, so be patient. You do not want to rush things because an impulsive decision is not going to be a lasting one. You do not want you or your spouse to regret things later, so take the time you need. If you want to get back with your spouse, be sure to work on your issues and get full resolution so the same problems do not keep cropping back up.
Work on Issues
In order to get things back to a point where you and your spouse want to live in the same household again, you need to identify the issues that caused you to separate in the first place. Sometimes this is easy. Maybe it was an addiction or financial issue.
In some cases, though, getting to the root of the issue is a lot more complex. It may be caused by childhood issues or trauma from a previous relationship. Once you identify these issues, you need to spend time working on them. A third party, such as a marriage counselor, can help.
Quit Being Angry
In order to reconcile with your spouse, you need to put forth some effort in changing your emotions. Get rid of the anger and blame and focus on positivity. Otherwise, you are just going to drive your spouse further away. Why would they want to be with someone who is going to keep spewing hatred at them?
You need to take responsibility for your own actions rather than blaming others. Be understanding and cooperative. Start seeing things from a different perspective. This will help you overcome problems in your marriage.
Leave the Past Behind
In order to reconcile, you need to move forward in your relationship. This means leaving the past behind. This is easier said than done, though. What happened in the past may be upsetting to you. Still, you need to focus on the future. Think positively and make changes so you can strengthen your marriage.
Be Honest With Yourself
A separation allows you to spend time with your thoughts. How do you feel? What do you want to do now? Do not let anyone pressure you into getting back together with your spouse. This is a decision that you have to make on your own. Make sure that you want to save your marriage. If you do not, then be honest with your spouse and move on.
Start Dating (Each Other) Again
You may need to start all over to get your marriage back on track. This means dating again. This may seem silly, but it is good to see each other and spend short amounts of time together. Spend some time in pleasant environments, such as favorite restaurants. Engage in favorite activities. Have a little fun together. Think about why you fell in love in the first place. Just avoid bringing up the past.
In order to save your marriage, you need to be compassionate toward your spouse. This means being respectful and kind. Even when you feel frustrated, acting positively will help you better resolve conflicts. Being overly critical and making mean remarks will only make it harder to reconnect with your spouse. A little kindness goes a long way.
Seek Legal Help
Once a couple separates, it can be hard for them to rekindle their love. Sometimes the separation serves as a wake-up call. In other situations, though, separation is simply the first step in a divorce.
If absence does not make the heart grow fonder, then it is time to end the marriage. Count on Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler to provide you with compassionate representation in your time of need. To schedule a consultation with our office, call (954) 346-6464 or fill out the online form.