When married couples divorce, they tend to live apart afterward. In fact, one party will typically move out of the marital home even before the divorce is finalized.
However, there are situations where this does not happen. In fact, a growing trend is for couples to continue to live together after divorce. They date and live their own lives – while still living with their ex-spouse.
This seems like a weird situation to a lot of people. When a divorce is underway, most people would rather live with anyone rather than the person they are divorcing.
Why would couples want to live this way? After a divorce, wouldn’t they want to live on their own? You would think so, but there are some main reasons why a couple would want to continue living together — children and finances.
Many divorced couples with minor children stay living together for child custody purposes. The child has continued access to both parents in the same home. It is convenient and allows the child to continue on with their normal everyday routine. It is as if the divorce never happened.
Finances are an even more common reason, especially for the middle class. It is cheaper to live in one house than in two. With inflation out of control, costs are increasing across the board. If the parties are not financially well off, maintaining two homes can be a huge drain on expenses. If the spouses can get along well together, then continuing to live together may be a good idea.
Many celebrities, such as actor Kevin Costner, former New York City mayor Bill DeBlasio, and reality TV stars, are continuing to shack up after divorce. Many everyday people are jumping on board as well.
However, this type of living situation is not easy. The logistics can be hard to handle. Privacy is limited. There can be growing resentment between the parties, causing immense stress. There have been situations in which parties literally split their living quarters with a wall. They may buy duplicates of common items to avoid sharing. Sometimes divorced parties will buy a new home to move into – with their new significant others.
Things may go well with this lifestyle until life changes. Maybe the kids grow up, and the parties no longer need to be together anymore. Or maybe one person starts dating, and this causes awkwardness in the home. These situations may force one or both parties to move out. On the plus side, if they both move out, they can then sell the home and potentially make a profit.
But even if living together with your ex is not your ideal living situation, there may be something making it hard to move out: the housing market. The prices to rent or buy a home have been insane. This is especially true in the cities and popular areas. When it comes to decent prices on housing, the market is limited. You are in competition with many people, so it can be hard to find housing for the price you want.
Rules for Living Together After Divorce
If you do decide to live with your ex after a divorce, it is important to set boundaries. Here are some rules you should have in place:
- Divide chores. Who cooks and cleans? Which person does the grocery shopping? Who takes care of the yard work? Does each person take care of their own space? Make sure there are clear boundaries.
- Stick to a budget. Who is paying for what? Make sure expenses are clear. It may be helpful to use a spreadsheet to keep track of everything.
- Be civil toward each other. Yelling at each other constantly is no way to live. You and your ex-spouse may not love each other anymore, but at least be respectful toward each other. Stop holding grudges and get over your resentment. Avoid unnecessary arguments. Otherwise, the living situation will be stressful.
- Keep your romantic life private. Do not flaunt your dates and partners in the other person’s face. Learn to keep your personal life private, especially if you are all living in the same house.
What to Know
Getting a divorce is complicated enough as it is. Living together after the divorce is not a common scenario. This type of living arrangement can be quite challenging as you try to move on in your individual lives while living with the same person you were once married to.
This arrangement can affect your mental health. It can have a negative impact on your emotions, causing anxiety and even depression.
If you and your ex do decide to try this type of living situation, do make sure to communicate about it first. Have guidelines and boundaries in place to make things easier.
You can continue this arrangement as long as you both want. There is no definite timeline for a divorced couple to stop living together. The length of time may depend on individual circumstances, financial situation, and ability to find alternative living arrangements.
Seek Legal Help
One of the main reasons why couples divorce is because they cannot live together anymore. Continuing to live together after divorce requires patience and the ability for spouses to get along with each other.
Divorce nowadays is not the same as it once was. Couples are always looking for unique ways to make things work, especially when it comes to finances and children. Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you and your spouse come up with creative solutions to divorce. Schedule a consultation with our office by calling (954) 346-6464 or filling out the online form.