Is a Platonic Marriage Right for You?

Is a Platonic Marriage Right for You?

When couples decide to get married, it is primarily because they love each other. However, there are people who may not be romantically in love with each other who still wish to be married. This is called a platonic marriage.

You may have heard about people who made a pact that they would marry each other if they reached a certain age and were not already married or did not have a partner. That is one example of a platonic marriage. A platonic marriage is based on practicality or trust rather than romantic love or sexual feelings toward each other.

Platonic marriage may be a new term to you, but these marriages have actually been around for at least a few centuries. They just might seem new because people are becoming more vocal about them. More people are choosing these types of relationships so they can spend their lives with their best friends, in a sense. 

These marriages focus on friendship rather than love. There is no romantic attachment and definitely no intimacy or sex, which may or may not be a good thing. There are many who could not be in a celibate relationship, so many of these marriages are open, allowing the parties to date others. Then there are those who do not care about sex or intimacy either way. They just want to be with someone who they trust and who is committed to them. 

No matter what you think about platonic marriage, you can agree that it does challenge the way that we as a society view intimacy. So, why do people agree to it?

Couples agree to a platonic marriage for various reasons. Many are disillusioned with romantic love, but want children, perhaps. Time may be running out, so they decide they are ready to start a family with someone they trust. They want stability with someone they trust, even if they are not in love with them. They are compromising. Instead of sexual attraction, they are looking for trust. Knowing that someone has your back is a wonderful feeling.

Some platonic couples may want children, so they agree to raise children and co-parent together. They may decide to take care of each other into old age. They may want someone they can split expenses with. Some people just want a life partner, even though they want a relationship free of sex and romance. In any case, a platonic marriage is still a serious relationship and should be done with care. 

Then there are those couples who are opposite. They started as romantic partners, but their relationship became platonic over time. They are married to each other, but are not intimate with each other. Some decide to date and have sex with other people. What this means is that there is no standard marriage anymore. Couples should have the ability to decide how they want their marriage to be.

Sexual desire can bring about complications in a marriage. In fact, sexual incompatibility is often a cause of divorce. So a platonic marriage can help avoid these complications. 

Benefits of Platonic Marriage

Those who marry for platonic reasons have the same benefits as a couple that is in love. Two friends can decide to get married and get the mutual support and financial benefits that a marriage offers. Because of this, marriage is no longer seen as an exclusive club. Anyone who is legally married, regardless of the reason, has access to insurance benefits and economic advantages as well as the emotional support that a marriage offers.

However, the key thing is that both partners need to have the same vision of what marriage will look like. If one is expecting regular sex or certain assets and the other partner is not on board, then the marriage will not last. Make sure you both communicate clearly before the marriage takes place. What do you want or need? What do you expect? Come to an agreement and don;t change it. Stick to it. It takes a certain type of person to make a platonic relationship work. It is not for everyone.

Many platonic marriages involve women who have close friendships and want these bonds to be honored commitments. They see romantic relationships and committed friendships as two sides of the same coin. They see these friends almost as soulmates. 

Platonic marriages can be between a man and woman. They can be between asexual partners who have no desire for a sexual relationship with anyone. They can also be between pansexual partners who desire romance with partners outside the marriage, but not with each other. Therefore, boundaries need to be established before marriage. How do you feel about sexual relationships outside the marriage? How will you split childcare? Who is in charge of finances? 

With a platonic relationship, it is OK to be different. You can choose the type of love that suits you. You can get married on your own terms. There is no law that says you have to marry for love and romance. After all, romance fades over time. Basing your marriage on something else, such as trust, just might be more realistic.

Seek Legal Help

A platonic marriage can be right for some people who desire to live with a trusted companion. However, these marriages lack romance and sex, which can be a deal breaker for many people. It’s not the perfect situation for most people. 

Whether you are looking to divorce from a platonic or romantic marriage, Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help. You deserve to be happy. Learn more about your options and next steps by scheduling a consultation with our office. Call (954) 398-5712 or fill out the online form