Almost all of us want to find a partner who is ambitious and values hard work. After all, who wants to be with someone who is lazy and has no motivation to do anything?
Be careful what you wish for. While many people feel the need to pour themselves into their careers, they should do this while they are young and have no obligations. It is a different story when someone is married with children. While there may be a need to hustle and work long hours early on in a marriage, it is possible for someone to work too much and jeopardize their marriage. When a person is never home to do things with their spouse and children, they run the risk of neglecting their family duties, often leading to resentment and divorce. After all, what is the point of being married if you never see your spouse?
Some people wish they had more time to work. Does this resonate with you? If so, you may be a workaholic. You are a workaholic when working becomes an addiction. It may seem silly that someone would want to spend all their time working, especially since there are so many people who hate working and put in as little effort as possible, but it happens quite often. These people do not want to spend time with friends and family members because they would rather work. They do not have any hobbies outside of work. Some people even forgo essential activities such as eating and sleeping so they can work.
Are You a Workaholic?
Now that people can work remotely at all hours of the day, becoming a workaholic is easier than ever. You can simply turn on your laptop and stay up all night working. Therefore, you might be a workaholic and not even know it. It is important to know the signs, which may include the following:
- Work is your top priority, over your spouse and children.
- All you want to talk about is work.
- Your spouse never wants to talk to you anymore.
- You and your spouse argue more.
- Your family complains that you work too much.
- You miss out on personal activities so you can work.
- You are making sacrifices to get even more work done.
- You have no hobbies or free time because you are always working.
- You feel the need to work, even though finances are not a concern.
- You panic when you are sick and cannot work.
- You never take vacations.
- Your work has negatively affected your health.
How Working Too Much Affects Your Marriage
If you are truly a workaholic, then it will just be a matter of time before your marriage starts deteriorating due to your lack of commitment to your family. If all you do is work, then your spouse will no longer feel like a priority. They feel isolated and unappreciated. They will feel less desirable which will then cause them to feel disconnected from you.
One spouse may make the other feel guilty for working too much, and this can lead to angry outbursts. The workaholic spouse may also feel entitled, since they are the one working more. This means the other spouse will feel as though they have to cater to the working spouse’s needs, which will quickly lead to resentment.
Couples should also expect a decline in intimacy. When couples do not communicate or spend time together, they experience a lack of emotional and physical intimacy. They no longer feel like lovers or even friends, which means their sex life will undoubtedly suffer. This can lead to a lot of tension.
How to Fix Things
If you recognize that you are a workaholic, you can start making changes now to preserve your marriage. Here are some things you can do to make work less of a priority and work on fixing your relationship with your spouse and children.
- Draw a line between work and home. Even if you work from home, there needs to be boundaries. You need time to decompress, so put away the phones and stop checking emails after a certain time. Make time to relax. Do not feel like you need to work constantly. That is not good for anyone.
- Have a separate office. Keep work out of the bedroom, which should be primarily for sleeping. Have a dedicated office or area in another part of the house where you can work.
- Do little things. Show your partner you care. Love notes, flowers and small gifts are ways to show that you appreciate your husband or wife. This will make them feel like you still care, even though you do not get to spend a lot of time together.
- Schedule intimacy. This may sound weird, but you may need to consider making time for sex. A lot of people think of sex as something that happens spontaneously, but it is important to make it a priority. Sexual chemistry is important, so make plans to spend time together and flirt.
Seek Legal Help
While it is good to work hard and earn money so you and your spouse can have a better life, sometimes people get consumed by their job. Doing nothing but working will leave your family feeling neglected, and this can cause a marriage to fail.
If your spouse has become a workaholic and you are feeling lonely in your marriage, it may be time to move on and find someone who values you more than their job. Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you end your marriage with ease. Call (954) 346-6464 or fill out the online form for a consultation.