After a messy divorce, your first instinct may be to drown yourself in work so you do not have to think about how your marriage failed. While it is a good idea to keep busy after a divorce, it is also a good idea to find your new identity.
After all, it is no longer a “we” situation. You are no longer married, so now it is all about you – and that can be a lonely feeling. You feel anxious or depressed about the future. You may be worried about finances. How will you pay the bills? You may be concerned that you will be alone forever.
The good news is that the chaos does not last forever. While it can sometimes take two years or so to get back to normal after a divorce, there is no reason why you cannot hit the refresh button as soon as you start the divorce process. Here are some tips to help you start over and rebuild your life after an emotional breakup.
Seek Professional Help
While you may not be too keen about discussing your troubles with a stranger, seeking help from a therapist can be a huge step toward moving on from a divorce. While you may be able to cry on your best friend’s shoulder, getting help from a counselor can help you put your life in perspective as well as help you understand what mistakes you made in your marriage so you can avoid making them again in the future. A professional can also help you create a solid outline for a successful post-divorce life.
Consider a Change of Scenery
Many people fight to stay in their marital home, but that is not always a good idea. Staying in the home may be convenient, but it can cause a lot of emotional distress. After all, you likely have a lot of memories in your home, both good and bad. If there are a lot of bad memories, staying in the marital home can make it harder to heal and move on after a divorce. The home can even feel eerie or unnerving. So if at all possible, move out and start anew elsewhere.
Take a Trip
Even a short-term change of scenery can do you a lot of good. If you can take a vacation to the beach, the woods, or somewhere different, you will see the difference in your mood. Spend a few days soaking up the sun or visiting friends or family from out of the area can help you get a new lease on life. Whether you want to shake things up a bit, have some fun, or simply relax, there are many options to consider.
Reassess Your Routine
After a divorce, you do not necessarily want to keep up with the same old routine. In fact, doing the same things you did before can keep you from progressing, keeping you stuck in a rut. Stop with the bland habits and kick things up a notch.
Reassess your existing routines. Make some changes by eating differently or adding exercise to your life. As you reset and refresh your post-divorce life, consider trying something new. Try a new hobby, start a sport, or take a class. You do not have to impress anyone any more, so do what you want to do. You have all the freedom in the world now, so take advantage of it.
Invest in Your Relaxation
When you were married, you probably focused on your spouse and kids. Now that you are divorced, the focus should be on you. Invest in taking care of yourself. The divorce process can be draining, so focus on things that help you relax. A day at the spa, a massage, or even just a soak in a bubble bath can be relaxing activities to help you relieve your stress. Do not neglect yourself; you will only feel tense and unhappy. Give yourself time to unwind – even just a few
Make New Friends
Statistics show that many people lose their old friends once their marriage ends. That is because divorce can make relationships complicated. Your friends may feel forced to take sides. They may feel uncomfortable about your marital situation.
There is another thing to consider for divorced women: your married girlfriends may not want to spend as much time with you. Why not? Because their husbands might become interested in you. It may seem silly, but that is what a lot of married women fear when their friends divorce.
That is why it is time to find single friends. Not only are you in a different social pool now, but hanging out with new people means you do not have to spend all your time with familiar faces who evoke painful memories.
Start Dating Again
After a divorce, you are likely feeling a blow to your self-esteem, making you feel unattractive.
Getting attention is a great way to combat this. If you feel ready to venture out into the dating world again, do it. As long as the divorce is finalized, it is not too early. Look for love online or ask friends to hook you up with people they know. There is no need to be serious; just look for people who enjoy a good time.
Seek Legal Help
A divorce comes with a lot of changes to your life. Find out how you can make a fresh start and enjoy all that the single life has to offer.
Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you navigate through divorce and beyond. We understand all the legal and emotional aspects involved. Schedule a consultation with our office today. Call (954) 398-5712 or fill out the online form.