How to Deal With Boredom in a Marriage

New relationships are exciting. Sparks are flying. You are having fun. You are experiencing a lot of firsts together.

Even if you decide to get married, you still may be in that honeymoon phase for a while. But after a year or two, things settle in, and you are experiencing reality. That chemistry you and your partner had is pretty much nonexistent. After some time, you may end up bored and in a rut. You may even be considering divorce.

Boredom happens in a marriage, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Miss romance with your partner? Want to spice up everyday life? Here are some tips to improve your marriage and bring back that loving feeling.

Determine if You Should Be Concerned

First, know that boredom is normal. You and your partner cannot be constantly happy with each other. Enjoying time with each other 24/7 is just not realistic. So, if you are bored, it is not always a red flag. It does not necessarily mean your marriage is going to fail.

But if you are bored, try to understand why and determine what things would make you feel less bored. You may be confusing comfort with boredom. It is easy to get comfortable in a marriage, and while it may feel boring, that is just part of life. Relationships are not meant to be exciting forever. Being comfortable means being happy with yourself. You can be yourself without having to look your best all the time. It often means your marriage is stable.

Still, you should determine what aspects of the relationship are you bored with. Find out what you would like to change and discuss this with your partner. Do you both want to fix the situation? If yes, then find ways to do so. Here are some ideas.

Pump Up the Adrenaline

Bored? Then do something that is not boring. Get out of the rut and try new things. Opt for something adventurous, like surfing or mountain climbing. Try go-kart racing if you have a need for speed. Attend a fitness class together and get fit. There are a lot of fun things you can do together to get the heart pumping and have fun with your spouse.

Plan a Night Out Every Week

Boredom often stems from not doing anything with your spouse. Fix that by planning a night out every week. Go to dinner. Grab some drinks. See a movie. Attend a concert. Hang out with friends. Do something different every week. Just blocking off a few hours a week to spend time together can work wonders for your marriage.

Escape for a Weekend

Has it been a long time since you and your spouse have done anything together? If so, consider planning a weekend out of town. Plan a trip to a destination that you have been wanting to visit. Book a room in a hotel a few hours away. Rent a house on the beach or lake. Find a place that you can both agree on and just get away. It may do wonders for your marriage.

Go Out With Friends

If you do not want to spend time with your spouse or simply cannot coordinate your schedules, go out with friends. Have a good time hanging out, having drinks, sharing a meal, or watching a movie. Spending time with friends can be rejuvenating. It can put you in a better mood so that you feel like putting effort into your marriage.

Do Nice Things for Each Other

Going out of your way and doing nice things for each other can be fun. There are many things you can do without breaking the bank. For example, you can leave love notes around the house. Drop by your spouse’s work with a special lunch. Make a special dessert.

However, this has to work both ways. If you are doing all the work and your spouse is not putting in the effort, then it can feel one-sided and even lead to resentment. One person should not be doing all the giving.

Have Dinner at Home

If you do not enjoy going out too much, an alternative is to plan a nice meal at home. You and your spouse can pick a meal you both enjoy, shop for the ingredients together, and then cook it together. Not into grocery shopping? There are meal delivery services such as Dinnerly and HelloFresh that will deliver everything to you; you just have to cook it.

Cuddle on the Couch

You do not have to spend a lot of money to spice up your marriage. Grab some popcorn and cuddle with your spouse on the couch. Browse through Netflix or watch a favorite movie together. Just being next to each other can release endorphins and make you feel happy about your partner and marriage in general.

Laugh a Little

Marriage is not all bad. Try to have a little fun with it. Do things that make your spouse laugh. Act goofy. Tell corny jokes. Send flirty texts. Take funny photos. Watch a comedy show together. When life is bringing you down, do not be so serious about it. Laughter really is the best medicine.

Seek Legal Help

Marriage is not always fun and exciting. It may be at first, but over time, things get monotonous. You may even end up in a rut.

Bored with your relationship? Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can assist you if divorce is in the cards. A new, exciting life awaits you. Fill out the online form or call (954) 346-6464 to schedule a consultation.