How to Deal With a Difficult Divorce

How to Deal With a Difficult Divorce

Not all divorces are alike. Some are easier than others, since both parties are in a hurry to get divorced. Some spouses may even divorce amicably and file for an uncontested divorce. 

 

Other divorces, however, are much more challenging. There are a lot of elements involved in a marriage and trying to untangle them all can be stressful, to say the least. On top of that, your spouse may be resentful and revengeful, trying to make matters worse. All these challenges can make you want to scream.

 

It may not feel that way, but there is life after divorce. Here are some challenges you may face and how you can best cope with these issues. 

 

What are Some Challenges?

 

Divorce ends your marriage, which means you are back to the single life. For many people, this can be a huge sigh of relief. You have the freedom to be yourself and do what you want once again.

 

For others, however, the single life can be sad and stressful. It can bring about a variety of challenges, including the following:

 

  • Finances. In a divorce, the couple splits their assets, so they end up with a lot less. Women are especially hit hard financially after a divorce, since many stay at home or have a lower income than their spouses. Living solely on child support and alimony is next to impossible. A person who was not working while married will need to find a job to survive life on their own.
  • Children. Many parents worry about how a divorce will affect their children—and for good reason. Many children suffer from psychological problems stemming from their parents’ divorce. They suffer socially and academically as well. There is also the fact that parents will not get to see their children every day after a divorce, as they will be spending time with both parents. It can be hard for a parent to handle, and it certainly takes some time to get used to it.
  • Loneliness. At least when you were married, you had someone to do things with. You also may have had shared friends as well as in-laws to whom you were close. These people are no longer in your life once you divorce. It can be hard to get used to the resulting loneliness. To fill the void, you may look for a relationship again. However, it is better to take the time to really enjoy yourself and do things you could not do before.
  • Unknown. Many divorced people have a legitimate fear of the unknown. What happens next? Unfortunately, there is no crystal ball that we can consult with to predict the future. You may feel as though you are ruined, and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. All you can do is your best, and you may feel as though that is not good enough. 

Coping With the Challenges

Divorce comes with many challenges, but you can get through it. Here are some ways to effectively cope. 

  • Seek therapy. A divorce is an emotional roller coaster. You may feel fine one day and totally overwhelmed the next day. Counseling can help you deal with these extreme emotions. You can also join support groups or try journaling to process your thoughts. Friends and family members can also provide you with a shoulder on which to lean.
  • Exercise. Engaging in physical activity is a great way to relieve stress and tension. It reduces adrenaline and cortisol, so it helps to calm you down. Exercise has also been known to help relieve anxiety and depression.
  • Practice self-care. Do not forget to take care of yourself! Take some time every day to do something you enjoy, whether it is reading a book, talking to a friend, taking a hot bubble bath, or just taking a nap. Now is also a good time to try a new hobby and learn to cook nutritious foods so you can maintain good health.
  • Avoid uncomfortable situations. There are some things you just cannot control. You may be putting a lot of effort into trying to be cordial with your ex, but he or she may not want to play fair. If it is too tense to communicate with each other, walk away. You do not have to keep engaging yourself into these situations.
  • Think things through. A stressful event such as a divorce has a way of clouding our decision-making abilities. Do not make quick decisions right now, especially when it comes to important matters that have long-term consequences. Instead, take the time to make logical decisions that are not based on emotions. Look at all your options and be patient with yourself.
  • Move on. Eventually you have to let go of all the negativity you are feeling. Forgive your spouse and move on. Identify the problems in your marriage and try not to make the same mistakes again. Figure out what needs to change and start your new life as a single man or woman.

Seek Legal Help

Some divorces are harder than others. There may be children or a lot of assets involved. In some cases, one person wants the divorce, while the other does not, so this can cause a lot of emotional distress. 

Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you move on from a bad marriage and help you avoid a difficult divorce. Stuck in your marriage? We have decades of experience helping others like you. Schedule a consultation today.  Fill out the online form or call (954) 346-6464.