Sure, you may love your spouse. They are funny, kind, and good-looking. But can you trust them?
What exactly does that mean? How do you define “trust” in a relationship. Trust is placing confidence in someone, knowing that you depend on them when you need them.
In a marriage, trust is crucial. You need to marry someone you can trust. You need someone you can rely on when times get tough.
In fact, trust is important for every relationship. If you cannot trust someone, then why associate with them? They could lie to you. They could steal from you or try to hurt you.
If you cannot trust your spouse, then the marriage deteriorates. You are left with doubts and insecurities. You may watch their every move, hoping they do not cheat on you. You may be jealous of everything your spouse does and every person they speak to because of a lack of trust.
This is no way to live. But the truth is that trust can be broken due to certain life experiences. For example, if you trusted your parents to take care of you and they always neglected you, then you might develop trust issues.
Trust incorporates faithfulness and honesty. Are you honest with your spouse? Are you loyal to them?
If so, then you are on the right track to a strong, healthy marriage. However, many marriages lack trust. Maybe there is a history of broken promises. Perhaps you caught your spouse cheating on you in the past. Maybe you just cannot depend on your spouse to do anything for you.
Trust can make or break a relationship, so if your marriage lacks trust, then you may be considering divorce. While that is often the outcome, it does not have to be. If you want to work on your marriage and avoid divorce, then there are some ways in which you can do so. Here are some ways to build trust.
Communication is one of the biggest problems in a marriage. Proper communication helps build trust, so if you are having issues or need to tell your partner something, it is best to be honest and upfront.
But do not just spout off a bunch of emails and texts. That is too impersonal. Instead, communicate with your spouse in person. Face-to-face communication is much more personal and allows you to get your point across better. Be sure to make eye contact, as this builds trust as well.
Do Not Keep Secrets
We mentioned being upfront and honest with your partner, and that is important. Do not keep secrets from your spouse, as that makes them feel as though they cannot trust you.
So do not hide anything. You should be able to tell your spouse anything, so do it. Be transparent with them. Be open with them and expect the same in return. If you feel as though your spouse is being dishonest with you, then call them out on it. Ask them why. You should not be keeping secrets from each other.
While you should not keep secrets, you should keep promises. If you tell your spouse you are going to do something, you better make sure you do it. Do not come up with excuses as to why you cannot keep a promise. That makes your spouse lose trust in you. Even if it is something small, like picking up something from the store, be sure to keep your word. Trust has to be earned.
Engage in Trust-Building Exercises
Not sure how to increase trust in your marriage? Here are some exercises that couples can try:
- Schedule fun together. Make a date to engage in favorite activities, such as dinner dates, movies, concerts, and sports activities.
- Have deep conversations. What goals do you have? Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? What would you change about the marriage?
- Be grateful. Say “thank you” more often. Compliment your spouse. Tell them you love them. Make a list of all the things you are thankful for.
- Have terms of endearment for each other. Some common terms of endearment include babe, baby, sugar, honey, sweetheart, pumpkin, sunshine, and lover. You can also come up with your own to show how unique your relationship is.
Infidelity is a common issue, but it is often a deal breaker. By many people, it is seen as the ultimate betrayal. Your spouse is supposed to have sex with you; why would they have sex with someone else?
Both you and your spouse need to avoid cheating at all costs. If you are not happy with the marriage, speak up. If you desire more intimacy or sex, let your spouse know. Want to try something new? Be sure to communicate. Do not just walk out on the marriage and get intimate with someone else. Once you cheat, trust is lost.
Having clear boundaries can help with trust issues. By setting boundaries, your spouse has a better understanding of your needs. Boundaries can mean a lot of things. It may mean telling your spouse when you need alone time or letting them know when they are oversharing details about your life or relationship. Understanding each other’s boundaries can help build trust.
Seek Legal Help
Spouses need to be able to trust each other. When there is no trust in a marriage, the relationship will likely end in divorce.
Can’t trust your spouse? Feel like you are on your own? Then seek legal help from Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler. We will help you move on from your marriage. Fill out the online form or call (954) 346-6464 to schedule a consultation.