You have probably seen the cartoons and memes of women running around the house cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids while the man sits on the couch watching TV, taking a nap, or playing video games. This is meant to be a funny depiction of married life, but the truth is that the women are not laughing.
They are fed up. They are tired of taking care of everything in the marriage while their husbands act lazy and entitled. The husbands put no effort into the relationships, causing a lot of resentment. Many women are even being proactive and divorcing their husbands.
First of all, know that anyone can be lazy, regardless of their gender. However, look at studies or do some research and you will find that women are complaining about their lazy husbands at astronomically high rates. While women can be lazy, it is just not that common—or maybe men just are not complaining about them.
Also, not all married men are lazy. Many do their fair share around the house while providing for their families. Some even stay home and take care of the kids while the wife works. However, there seems to be a trend toward women taking on both the role of the husband and wife, with many becoming the breadwinners, the primary caregiver for the children, and the one who cooks and cleans. This is causing a lot of stress and tension in marriages.
Marriages require a lot of work. A person just cannot expect to do nothing and stay married forever. It takes two, and when only one person is doing all the work, the marriage is going to experience a lot of issues. Ultimately, it is going to lead to divorce.
Common Signs of Laziness
You may already know your spouse is lazy. They do not work as much as you. They do not take care of the children. They never cook or clean. Their time is either spent away from home doing what they want to do and hanging out with friends or lounging around at home sleeping or watching TV. While you may be able to spot a lazy person a mile away, here are some signs that your spouse is lazy.
- Everything is about them. Lazy people are also very selfish. It is always about what they want and how they feel. They do not seem to care that their spouse is working nonstop to maintain the household.
- They never compromise. In a healthy marriage, when there are problems, the spouses will communicate and work together to find a solution that works for both parties. A lazy spouse, however, does not want to put in that amount of effort. Again, it is all about them. It is their way or the highway.
- They want it all—without the work. A lazy person constantly wants things, but never wants to work for them. They expect to be handed everything. They do not want the responsibilities and demands of a marriage, but they sure want the benefits.
- Your spouse knows nothing about you. Does your spouse ever ask your opinion on anything? Do they ever ask you any questions about your feelings, wants, or needs? If not, then that is because he or she is focused solely on their own desires.
- They are all talk and no action. Words are meaningless if you do not follow up on your promises. If your spouse talks about things they are going to do but they never do them, they are being lazy. Keeping promises takes effort. If all you get are excuses, it is because your spouse is not interested in doing the work involved to keep the marriage strong.
How to Save Your Marriage
While divorce may be your first thought, make a good faith effort to save your marriage first before you do anything drastic. Here are some tips to deal with a lazy spouse.
- Communicate. This should be your first step, but it is often the hardest. The goal is to discuss your feelings without criticizing or nagging. Talk to your spouse to see why he or she does not want to do their fair share. In some cases, laziness can be a symptom of a medical issue, such as depression, so your spouse may need to be proactive and see a doctor.
- Reward good behavior. Positive reinforcement can be a good tool for motivation. Praise your spouse for something they did well. Hopefully with some encouragement, your spouse will be more productive.
- Do things together. Sometimes people just need a little motivation. If you offer to help your spouse clean the house or exercise together, they may be more likely to get off the couch and do it. Plus, it gives you a chance to communicate with each other, which is always a good thing.
- Take a break. If nothing works and you are fed up, leave the house for a few days. Let your spouse fend for themselves. That may make them realize how much they really appreciate you. See what happens when you get back. If nothing changes, then it may be time to make a decision about your marriage.
Seek Legal Help
Laziness happens in some marriages. Your spouse may have been hard working early on the marriage, but perhaps something changed.
Whatever the case, one person should not have to do all the work in a marriage. If you cannot get your spouse to help you out and put any effort into the marriage, it is time to move on. Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you with the divorce process. Get started with a consultation. Fill out the online form or call (954) 346-6464.