When a person gets married, they expect to live happily ever after. They assume they will be in love with their spouse forever. While many couples do stay happily married for many years—even decades—not all do.
The truth is that people sometimes fall out of love. People grow up and become more mature as they get older. What they desired for a mate in their 20s and 30s may no longer ring true as they approach their 50s, 60s, and beyond. Plus, their partner may change over time. People often develop addictions. They abuse substances. They may engage in infidelity and other undesirable behaviors.
What Happens When You Fall Out of Love?
Couples may start falling out of love as soon as the honeymoon phase is over. Others may fall out of love later in life. In either of these cases, you will notice this behavior as soon as you start seeing the negative effects of your relationship start to outweigh the positive aspects.
When you fall out of love with your partner, you start to focus on the differences. You become unable to find common ground. You no longer revel in the differences between you and your partner. Opposites no longer attract. In fact, they start to become major character flaws.
When you fall out of love, you might still care about your partner. It just means you no longer have romantic feelings for them. You do not want to continue pursuing a relationship with them.
You may feel guilty about the way you feel. You may feel as though you need to continue with the marriage so you can avoid hurting your spouse’s feelings. However, you need to do what is right for both of you—and this may mean getting a divorce.
It can be heartbreaking to share your true feelings with your spouse. However, your spouse likely wants you to be happy, so you need to be open and honest. Plus, they probably do not want to stay married to someone who no longer loves them. That is a rough situation in which to be. So listen to your heart.
But that is easier said than done. How can you tell whether or not you are falling out of love with your spouse? Here are some signs.
What are the Signs?
If these signs are present in your relationship, then it is time to reevaluate it, since you may be falling out of love:
- You do not enjoy spending time together. You should enjoy doing things with your spouse. While it is good to spend some time apart, you should not be dreading a dinner date or other upcoming event with your spouse. If you would rather be with someone else, then you may be falling out of love.
- You actively avoid them. It is one thing to not want to spend time with your spouse anymore. When you actively look for ways to avoid them, then it’s clear that you are falling out of love.
- You no longer share information. You should feel comfortable talking openly with your partner. If you find yourself withholding information, refraining from discussing your feelings, and can no longer make eye contact with your partner, then it is time to move on.
- You avoid discussions. Nobody likes to argue, but when you avoid discussing anything, then your relationship is going to suffer. When you sit in silence, your negative emotions build up and you feel resentful. If you would rather keep quiet, then it is clear you are not fully invested in the relationship anymore.
- You are not sure about your future together. Thinking about the future can be scary, whether or not you are married. Even those who are happily married may feel some apprehension about what lies ahead. However, if you feel unhappy or scared to be with your partner for the long haul, then that is an area of concern. You may want to communicate with your partner about your feelings as well as their dreams for the future to see if your feelings will change.
- You always criticize your partner. When you are falling out of love, it may seem as though even the smallest things start to drive you nuts. The little quirks that once thought were cute may now get on your nerves. If nothing they do is good enough anymore or you feel as if they are a constant disappointment, then it may be time to move on. Nobody wants to be criticized all the time.
- You have someone else on your mind. In a happy marriage, your spouse will be all you need. However, if your needs are not being met, then you may start looking elsewhere. You may develop an attraction to a coworker, friend, neighbor, or someone else you see frequently. Over time, this infatuation may cause you to think differently about your marriage. You may start fantasizing about life without your spouse. You may think about how much different your life would be if you were single or with someone else.
Seek Legal Help
Marriages ebb and flow. At first, you may feel totally in love, but as time goes on, you may feel different about your relationship. It is not uncommon for couples to grow apart and fall out of love.
Have you lost that loving feeling? Are you truly unhappy with your marriage? If so, Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you move on. We will help you with the legal and emotional aspects of divorce. Schedule a consultation with our office today by filling out the online form or calling (954) 346-6464.