A divorce is an emotional event that many people face in their lives. After all, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Many people think they can tough it out on their own and move on from a traumatic experience, but they cannot. They break down and cry. They give up on life. They feel stuck, like they cannot move forward. Some get depressed and anxious. Others even contemplate suicide.
A divorce makes a person feel rejected and unloved. That is why people need a strong support system while going through a divorce. While you may be thinking solely about financial support — i.e. money — during this time, you need to consider the benefits of emotional support.
The right type of emotional support can help you feel connected, positive and strong. You eventually overcome your grief, anger and bitterness and feel motivated enough to move on. If you’re struggling to find the right support during this difficult time, here are some options to consider.
Seek a Divorce Therapist
Many people view therapy as a sign of weakness, but consider it as a way to get your life in order. A therapist — particularly one who specializes in relationships and divorce — can help you analyze yourself, your relationship and what you want out of life.
You are likely feeling a barrage of negative emotions. Perhaps you still love your spouse. Your spouse may have been your first love and you thought you would be together forever. Maybe you thought the marriage was good and still are not sure what went wrong. Maybe your spouse cheated on you. Perhaps you have kids and are concerned about their future. Maybe you did not even want a divorce at all.
A divorce therapist can help you create a new identity outside of your marriage and subsequent divorce. They can give you clarity and boost your confidence and make you feel excited about the future. A therapist can offer a fresh perspective so you can emerge from your divorce a confident, motivated person.
If you have children, a divorce therapist can help you manage their emotions regarding the divorce and help you deal with the aspects of co-parenting. If possible, you may want to consider family therapy sessions. This will allow the child to express any concerns regarding their parents, parenting efforts and overall relationship. Having the parents and children together in one room to discuss their concerns can help solve any outstanding issues and lessen the tension.
Talk to Friends and Family Members
It can be helpful to vent to close friends and family members about your divorce, especially if they have been through one. Even if they have not, it can be still cathartic to talk to someone who is willing to lend an ear to listen and a shoulder on which to cry.
With friends and family on your side, you will not feel alone after a divorce. They can help motivate you and help you feel positive. The right friends and family members can also offer good advice about your next steps. Perhaps they can help you find a job or let you stay with them until you find a place of your own. You will feel better knowing that there is someone you can turn to to lighten your emotional load.
Just make sure you turn to trusted and well-meaning family members. You may not have a good relationship with all your family members, so carefully choose the best ones in whom to confide.
Find a Support Group
Many communities offer support groups where you can meet with others who have experienced divorce. Every divorce is different, but it can be refreshing to hear about the divorce journeys of others. While it can be scary to talk to complete strangers about something so personal as a divorce, hearing the stories of others can give you a different perspective and help you cope. Plus, you can tell your story without judgment. Everyone is there to support you.
Many support groups offer education and seminars, as well as resources to help you through your divorce. Because of this, joining a support group can be a good option if your friends and family members are not being supportive about your divorce and you cannot afford to pay for therapy right now. Who knows, you may even make some new friends in the process. Having new friends can be helpful as you navigate through your divorce and make your way through life as a single person.
Write it Down
You can converse through a pen and paper. How are you feeling? What is bothering you? Writing can be cathartic for those going through a divorce. It can help you release your bottled-up feelings and make sense of the situation.
However, in some cases, writing about your divorce may bring up negative experiences and feelings that you want to let go and can actually make you feel worse. Also, writing is not the same as getting support from others, but it can still be helpful for those who are more reserved and have a hard time expressing their feelings.
Seek Legal Help
A divorce is a highly emotional experience. You need outlets where you can vent your frustrations and get the guidance you need to move on.
Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can help you get the emotional support you need after a divorce. He can help you survive and thrive. Fill out the online form or call (954) 346-6464 to schedule a consultation.