There are few things in life more challenging than a divorce. Emerging from a divorce can be a gratifying experience, but it can also be intimidating. While you are likely removed from many of the negative factors that led you to seek divorce, there are also a lot of uncertainties. When you are ready to finalize your divorce or if you recently have, there are some positive aspects that you should look to that may help you find comfort and confidence in having successfully navigated the complex divorce process. Doing so can help you focus your attention and energy in a productive manner instead of allowing the finality of divorce to overwhelm you.
Financial Autonomy
One of the biggest reasons people choose to get divorce is trouble with finances. Perhaps one spouse feels that he or she is unfairly contributing to the finances. Perhaps one spouse has wasted a great deal of the financial assets on bad investments. There could be issues surrounding gambling or substance abuse that have had a negative impact on the net worth of the married couple. Whatever the financial woes are that may have led to your decision to get divorced, the finalization of your divorce can provide you with much-needed financial autonomy.
Not only can financial autonomy help you escape negative financial habits within a marriage, but the asset division process and creating your own financial portfolio can also provide confidence and a real sense of ownership. Having your own accounts and being accountable for your own finances is often a source of pride for newly single individuals. Being able to purchase your own assets, potentially even including your own home, will provide a real sense of ownership that can help you be more confident in your financial health and in many of the things you do each day.
Less Stress
You are likely already aware of the stress that can accompany divorce. Before filing for divorce, you probably experienced a great deal of stress, too. Divorce provides an opportunity to relieve you of that stress and the negative energy associated with it. This can help you be happier and healthier, as stress can definitely have a negative effect on both of those aspects of your life.
Not only does less stress mean that you can be happier and healthier, but you may also find it makes you more productive. Instead of devoting time and energy to the problems you are dealing with in your marriage or the rigors of divorce, you can focus on other aspects of your life that you may have been neglecting like work, and yourself.
Better Relationships
You may have thought your spouse was the perfect mate. For a long time, he or she may have been. However, divorce can also provide you with the opportunity to reassess what is and is not important to you in a relationship. These factors can certainly change over time, and after a divorce you will have the opportunity to start dating again when the time to do so is right for you. Being better prepared for what you know will and will not work for you can help you determine whether and when to move forward with new relationships armed with the knowledge that you know a little bit more about yourself and your needs.
You may also notice that you have a better relationship with friends and family members. When you remove the stress that unhappiness in a marriage can cause, then you have a lot more energy to focus on these relationships. Individuals that were close to your marriage, such as your children if you shared any, will also likely be happier now that the negative energy that may have led you to seek divorce is gone.
Putting it All Together
One of the most important things that you can remember to do during and after a divorce is breathe. With so many uncertainties, it is important to find time to relax and to find experiences that will help you do so. Look for the things that brought you enjoyment before or during your marriage and engage in them. Consider finding a new hobby. Treat yourself to dinner. Make time to read all of those books you did not have a chance to get to during your marriage. If finances permit, take a vacation – and if they do not, then open a savings account where you can put aside small amounts so that you can afford that vacation you have always wanted to go on.
It is also important to keep the lines of communication open even once a divorce is finalized as there may be loose ends that need to be attended to. If you share children, communication is crucial to making sure that they can experience the divorce transition with as little life interruption as possible. You do not have to be best friends with your ex-spouse. In fact, there may come a point when you never have to see him or her again. However, if you do, making sure you focus on productive communication will make any interaction you have with your ex a more positive experience for everyone involved.
Professional Assistance
You may find that even taking these suggestions to heart might not be enough to help you cope with a divorce. If that is the case, there is no shame in seeking professional assistance from a licensed mental health practitioner. They can be an essential part of the divorce experience for many individuals and have likely worked with countless others experiencing many of the same difficulties and struggles as you. Much like your search for a divorce lawyer, you may want to “interview” various providers by scheduling an initial visit to see if their personality and services will provide you with the tools and security to accomplish your objective for seeing them.
You may also want to hold on to your divorce attorney’s number. Throughout the divorce process, your attorney has become familiar with many of the intimate details of your divorce as well as the various nuances that may have come into play during it. You may find that there is a time when you need to retain their services again, especially in the case of spousal support or child support. There may even be lingering issues over asset division and other aspects of the divorce that they can assist you with. If you are considering divorce or need legal assistance with a divorce-related issue, contact Scott J. Stadler to schedule a consultation and find out how he can work with you throughout the Florida divorce process.