Dealing With Embarrassment About Divorce

Dealing With Embarrassment About Divorce

Dealing with an unhappy marriage is not an easy task. When your marriage is no longer working, you essentially have two options: stick with it and stay miserable forever, or get a divorce.

Either way, it is going to be a stressful process. That is why many people choose to get a divorce so they can move on with their lives and at least be happy again.

Even though almost half of all marriages end in divorce, that fact alone does not always make the process easier. In many societies, there is still a stigma attached to divorce. Those who do decide to divorce are not always happy with their decision. They feel shame and embarrassment. Did they make the right choice? What could they have done to make the marriage work?

The truth is that it takes two to tango. It takes both spouses to make a marriage work. One person cannot do all the work on their own. Even if you truly wanted to save your marriage, the other person would have to put in some effort as well.

Making the decision to file for divorce is a brave decision. It takes a lot of courage to admit that a marriage is not working and make the tough decision to end it.

Divorce is a challenge that many people face in life. It is not always easy to discuss it with others. It may make you feel angry. You may start to cry. Maybe there is a lot of resentment. Or maybe you feel happy about your decision but are not sure that others will feel the same way.

Because of these various feelings and possible reactions, people may keep their divorce bottled up. They may be afraid to tell friends and family. They are already dealing with a difficult time; they do not need judgment from loved ones on top of it. 

But the truth is that people need support during this difficult time. They cannot just spend all their time alone. They need to vent. They need to express their feelings.

So how do you go about telling people about your divorce? This can vary from person to person. For some people, you may want to share more details. For others, you may want to be more concise and to the point.

This involves creating an environment of trust and acceptance. People need to see how brave you are for choosing a new life path and navigating the challenges that come with it. So do not avoid people and life in general. Instead, follow these strategies for moving on after a divorce.

Focus on Your Goals

Do not wallow in misery over your failed marriage. Instead, think about the amazing things you can accomplish. And do not just focus on the little things – dream big! Write down your goals so you can see them on a daily basis. Revisit them when you feel like you are in a rut. Challenge yourself to take one step toward your dreams. Be constantly thinking about a successful future instead of dwelling on the past.

Create Specific Messaging

Think about what you want to tell others about your divorce. Come up with different messages for each person, depending on what you feel comfortable telling them. You can be specific or a little less detailed. In any case, the message should set the tone and make it easier to have certain conversations.

Some examples of messaging may include:

  • “Please support me in treating my ex with compassion.”
  • “Our marriage is ending but we will always be connected by our children.”

The phrases you use should be short and sweet. They will help others understand your state of mind and what you need from them. They will also help avoid negativity, such as badmouthing.

Do not forget to have messaging for yourself as well. You need positivity during this difficult time and it can be easy to forget to focus on yourself. Here are some phrases to help give you affirmation:

  • “I am worthy of love.”
  • “I have done hard things before and I can do this, too.”

Get Support

Do not attempt to handle your divorce all on your own. It will cause more stress than necessary. Instead, get someone on your side, whether it is personal or professional support. Then ask for what you need. This may not be easy, but you need someone who will back you up and serve as your advocate. This could be a close friend, neighbor, or co-worker. It may be a sibling, parent, grandparent, cousin, or other family member. Maybe you will ask for help from a professional such as a lawyer or a therapist.

In any case, choose someone who you can trust and who can be honest with you. Many people hire divorce coaches to help them. A divorce coach is a nonjudgmental mental health professional who can assist you with important decisions. They can help make your divorce amicable as well as prepare you for post-divorce life.

Seek Legal Help

When it comes to divorce, there is still a lot of stigma and shame involved. It is not something a lot of people handle easily, even though divorce happens to nearly half of all marriages.

Getting through a divorce can be rough. Broward County divorce attorney Scott J. Stadler can guide you through the process. Schedule a consultation today by calling (954) 346-6464 or filling out the online form.