Anatomy of a Divorce – How Does it Work?

The divorce process begins with your initial consultation with your attorney. The selection of your legal representative is an important decision as you are relying on that person to provide you legal advice. Please keep in mind that throughout the process you are the only decision maker. Your attorney can and should make recommendations, not decisions. You are the decision maker and have hired an attorney to counsel you, not make decisions for you.

It is worth noting that comparing your situation with your friends who have gone through a divorce will mislead you into a false sense of security and will serve no purpose whatsoever. The outcome of your case is based on the particular facts and circumstances of your situation. Resist the temptation to compare your circumstances with your friends’ situation to determine an outcome of your case. Be sure to tell your lawyer all of the facts and circumstances. Be sure to have a frank discussion with your attorney about the judge assigned to your case, and what a realistic outcome might look like if you took your case all the way to the trial level.

It is also worth noting that you and your spouse may not have the same goals, nor the same emotional IQ. There are differences between men and women that will play a role in the divorce process. Be mindful that there will be waives of emotions that play into the process such as anger, rejection, resentment, jealousy, insecurity and revenge. While one person may see the matter as cut and dry, the other person may be struggling with the emotional detachment of the breakup. Your attorney should keep this in mind when counseling you.